so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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