If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
