this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
