Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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