my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
