i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
