Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
