Nicole vs. Life
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
