they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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