Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
