just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
