yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
