How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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