nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize