Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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