Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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