she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
