Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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