How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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