im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
