Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
