she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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