So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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