thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
