my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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