Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
