Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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