brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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