And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
