Welp...herpes.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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