my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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