i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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