so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
