i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
