i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
