so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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