do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the day after is always just damage control
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
