I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
