She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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