we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
