Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
