You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
