Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
