I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the day after is always just damage control
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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