just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
