She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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