I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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