:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
