Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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