I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
