matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
