Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
