Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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