you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
