your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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