Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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