so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
