More tranny stories later!
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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